Sweet Moment

Ahhhhhh, what a great feeling it is to run. My body is refreshed and cleansed. It would be wrong not to take a nice soothing shower after such a run and short excursion in the weight room. I started the shower and sighed. This was going to be good. I could already feel the hot water blanketing down my back. I hurriedly climbed in the shower and was instantly in a water-induced pleasure coma. Right about then I heard the bathroom door open and a tiny, young voice spoke, "Mommy?"

I visualized my little boy standing halfway in the doorway with his little hand stretched above his head as it clings to the doorknob and knew that as soon as I said his name he would rush to me. No invitation necessary in his mind.

I dropped to the shower floor and covered myself as best you can when you only have your hands as a shield; not like he'll remember this anyway. "Ayden? Is that you? What are you doing up?"

Pitter Patter. Pitter Patter. Pitter Patter. His little hand poked through the closed shower curtain holding his Blue's Clues book. Careful not to let his entire body go behind the curtain he inquired, "Read you aaa the book Mommy?"

Just then McKay said his name and his small hand and his book were gone.

I relaxed and enjoyed the water once again, too lazy to stand. A few minutes later I heard a creak as the door opened again and a small voice once again questioned, "Read you aaa the book Mommy?" This time he waited fully behind he curtain for my answer.

I situated myself again to be completely covered and replied, "Ok, Ayden you can read the book to me." Excitedly he whisked the curtain aside and sat on the tub, his back against the wall. 'Taye Mommy Taye." And proceeded to read his Blue's Clue's book to me from the last page to the start. Once he finished he excitedly looked up at me and informed me he was going to read again.

The entire time he was telling me his story, parts of which were memorized from the book and most from his own imagination, I couldn't help but think about how much I loved this person that has only been in my life for two and a half years. I was seeping up his beautiful big blue eyes, the inflection in his voice as he read to me; I couldn't get enough of his sweet spirit. He will most likely never remember this night, but I will. 

I. am. NOT. AAaAaAaaA Baaand- AaaiD!!

Kids are so much fun. Let me just say that. They say the silliest things. Their emotions are literally all over the place. If I push Ethan aside because I'm trying to unload the dishwasher and he wants to be inside the dishwasher, he takes it personally and cries. If he's not invited into the bathroom with me while I pee, he takes it personal and moans at the door until I come out. They crack me up! With that said, this next story is actually about Ayden. Although Ethan did help the story along.

Ayden is being potty trained if you didn't already know. He loves the bathroom now, not that he didn't have some strange obsession before, but now the 'love' has increased exponentially. He'll sit on the toilet for a half hour with the hopes of something coming out and him getting a treat. He'll open the door and close it just because he can. Today was one such day when he stood in the doorway of the bathroom and was opening and closing it. This naturally drew Ethan in and he plopped himself down right outside the bathroom. I'm assuming with the fear of if he tried to get closer he would get his nose mushed in by a swinging door.

After a few minutes Ethan began to yell nonsense at Ayden. Jabbering on about who knows what! Apparently Ayden who now understands Ethan was getting extremely frustrated with his rude words.

The next thing I hear is Ayden yelling at Ethan "I am NOT AAAAAA Band-aaaaaaid!", he then proceeded to swing the door shut with all his might. He's not exactly an expert at door slamming yet and he let go of the door instead of following through. This led to an anti-climactic event of the door softly tapping the door frame and reopening slightly.

Ethan was thrilled and started to yell some more. Ayden only became more agitated. This is the part in the cartoon where the characters eyes bug out of their head. Because boy Ayden's eyes were buggin! Apparently Ethan was still calling Ayden a band-aid. So Ayden yelled more hoarsely again, "I am NOT AAaAaa Band-AAid!" and again tried to dramatically slam the door shut. And the door again was not giving in and slowly came to a stop before even closing.

In the background I hear Ethan's frenzied laugh and then the door actually slamming. Ayden was so cheesed that he just took it upon himself to finish the job and ensure the door closed. From behind the closed door I hear. "I am NOT A Band-AAAAAAID!" and then a little fist hit the door in defeated frustration.

We are still learning how to handle our emotions around here and not get offended at name calling. :) 

Hand feeding each other around here

Sometimes Ayden is very nice to his brother and sometimes I am lucky enough to catch it without them knowing it!

He was telling him 'ahhhhhhh' while opening his own mouth, just like I do sometimes when I feed Ethan. Poor Ethan after a while was drowning in Cheez-Its.

On Friday we had about 6 of McKay's college friends over playing Super Smash Bros. on the 64! Aaron came a bit earlier than the rest of them and played with the boys for a bit. We had pretzels out and so Ayden decided that Aaron looked a little thin and started hand feeding him pretzels. Ethan saw what was going on and decided that he would put into practice what was done to him and ALSO started to hand feed him pretzels. Aaron after a while had about 3-4 pretzels in his mouth while two frenzied little boys tried to keep his mouth full! It was fun to watch and I'm glad Aaron was a good sport.

Potty training update: Ayden hasn't had an accident in his undies in. . . 3 days!!! Considering we only just started, I think that's pretty good! We are still working on keeping him dry at night. He's doing better, but he still pees. This is good though- I'm so excited!

Ethan update so he doesn't feel left out... even though he doesn't even know this blog exists:

He loves to cuddle! This is no secret to anyone that holds him. Naturally he loves to cuddle with Mommy the most. Daddy is a close second.

Happy Dance!

Ayden actually went potty in the toilet for the first time!!!

WAAAHOOOOO!!!!!

Do you know what this means?! This means no more $40 every two weeks for his diapers! This means no more changing his sick nasty poos. This means that he can go to pre-school!!!! I feel so liberated!!! 

Now the only trick is to KEEP him going potty in the toilet. I should probably simmer down until he's actually potty trained or its going to be really depressing when he decides that he's bored of the candy and sticker awards he gets and wants his bum changed again by me.

BUT for now... Ayden and I are going to do the HAPPY POTTY DANCE!!!!! {run around the living room and jumping up and down.}

Different, but good.

I'm learning new things about my boys every day. For instance. I know that Ethan craves physical touch. He loves to be held. He loves his ears, feet and head rubbed. Which if you've had children or been around children you'll know that getting them to hold still for a foot rub is nearly impossible. With Ethan, he'll almost always stop to enjoy the massage. If I try this with Ayden, and I have, I'll most likely get a 'don do that!' statement from him. Ethan also hates isolation. Sometimes he's screeching loud enough to bring down the house and so... he get his special play time in his bedroom with the door shut tight. I learned very quickly that he loathes this with every fiber of his being. It is like the ultimate punishment for him, instead of calming down because he's alone he'll usually get more frenzied and upset. So I don't put him anywhere by himself very often any longer. Yesterday was one such day where I was going to lose my head if he didn't stop screaming. And apparently for him not screaming and following me around the house was not an option. He was gently escorted upstairs and set in his room. After I'd finished making dinner I went up to get him and he was laying by the door suffering from a self induced screaming coma. WHICH is easily remedied! I picked 'screaming coma' baby up and just held him and held him.....aaaand held him. Because, what? he loves physical contact! We sat together for about a half hour, maybe longer before he was ready to go somewhere else.

 {Daddy's headset}

Ayden on the other hand is much different. I'm still trying to figure him out! Not that as Ethan gets older I won't have more to discover with her personality. But I have him pegged right now, Ayden... not so much. Ayden is quite stubborn. I'll say come here, he'll look me straight in the eyes and say 'no!' purely for the fact that I asked him to come somewhere. I say go here- he goes to the opposite corner of where I wanted him to go. So you'd think that reverse psychology would work on him right? In some cases maybe it would, but for most- he'll most likely be glad that he doesn't have to do what I asked. "Ayden, don't eat your lunch." Ayden will think for a bit, then... "taye Mommy." And he'll proceed to do whatever he was doing before I interrupted him. I sort of have to trick Ayden into doing things, which is not very easy for me. I'm not a very good trickster and he sees through me a lot of the time! Yesterday we were having dinner and Ayden was pulling his usual routine of refusing to eat his food. So we made it a game. The problem is, if its the same game he's played before, he'll most likely not play it. Last night we played, Ayden will sneak a bit of his food and Mommy will catch him at the last minute and cheer!... we did this for e-v-e-r-y bite. I'm learning that Ayden likes to have special alone time with his Mommy and Daddy. He likes to have our time and attention to himself. This isn't very easy to pull off with two kids, and I can't image it gets any easier with more children. But right now, we let Ayden stay up later than Ethan and then he gets his time with us.

{Showing you his battle wounds}

Ayden's showing you his burnt hand. He stuck his entire hand on a fireplace at GGPAs house and roasted all 5 of his fingers. 4 of them blistered and 3 bad enough to require band-aids. I think we can easily assume he won't do that again! At least not for a very very long time.

Sorry this post is kind of boring. I am keeping this for my kids mostly and I want them to know about their little personality traits they had and may still have eons from now! 

State of Mind

The motherhood cycle. Something I've been thinking about lately.

We'll start off really simple. You find out you're pregnant!

 

You're scared out of your mind because you've never done this before and wa-blam! Baby is here before you know it!

 

You think you know what you're doing. You think everyone is on the same wavelength as you as far as your baby goes. If you're like me, you get territorial over your baby. When Ayden was born my Mom and my Mother-in-law came to help me with Ayden at different times. I will admit now, that I was crazy in some fashion. My mother-in-law bought a really cute teddy bear that makes the sounds your baby would hear while in the womb. I was instantly jealous of the stupid bear. Like it could replace me!

I also remember one Aunt who we visited after Ayden was about 3-4 weeks old and she just swooped in and picked Ayden up without asking me. I was so cheesed. The nerve of her to just pick up my baby without even asking. Boy was I miffed.

 

This is what territorial looks like. But on a completely random baby that I found on the internet that gave me the perfect bug eyes look that I was going for.

For about the first year of their life, if not longer you don't want to go out on dates. You'd rather stay home or bring the baby with you. You feel bad if you leave the baby with someone else for too long.

 

Or you start to get paranoid. You go on a date, have dinner and before the movie you call to make sure everything is ok.

Now you realize you're ready for another adorable baby to come into your family and you get pregnant again!

You look back at how you acted with your first and think, wow it must have been SO obvious that I was a first time Mom. Instead of wanting to stay at the hospital longer because you know you get help there, you want to go home.

Instead of getting mad because the Auntie just took the baby without asking. You hope that she'll pick one of your two kids up so you can get away from them for a bit.

Instead of getting jealous of silly teddy bears, you're glad you have it so you're not the one that has to cuddle with the baby all the time because you have that other baby running around the house that you have to care for.

Here is the teddy I was jealous of by the way. :)

And lastly, I have been trying to find a couple to trade off weekends with since the dawn of time- or at least since the dawn of Ethan! Because instead of stay home and bask in my childrens' love and chaos, I would rather get out of the house with my husband! NOT because I love my kids less, but so that I can handle being around their craziness.

My kids' pediatrician always tells me that I'll love my children more if I see them less on the weekends. :)

  

Now I just need to find a couple that is actually ready to go on date nights and that is willing and able to trade weekends with me! Oh and that lives in the same state as me!

I have a feeling that after I have more children that I'll still look back at my state of mind now and go 'wow, I really had no idea what I was doing. Why would I ever want to do this?! or that!?'

Does this sound pretty familiar to the Mommies out there? Maybe its just me.

War

Ethan. *This is to be said with an arch nemesis air about it. Slow drawn out low voice.*

He has recently taken it upon himself to test gravity, as if it didn't exist before he was born. He would throw his food on the ground, throw his toys off high places, simply drop something only to wait for someone to pick the something back up again so he could drop it.... and today, he was throwing his bath toys out of the bath.

Normally I'm not AS bothered about this as I was today. He would stand up, give me this maniacal laugh and huck a squishy, soapy letter at my feet. Not thrilled with his naughty, I picked the toy back up and threw it at him telling him to keep his stuff in the bath! He laughed some more and threw a few more letters out. *my eyes began to twitch- or if they didn't, then they should have!* I picked the toys up again and tried to throw them so they'd stick to the wall. They didn't. He grabbed them again and sloshed them out of the tub soaking my feet and the bathmat. *More fake eye twitching!* I was on the verge of destroying every last of his toys in a torturous event. But I controlled myself and picked up the toys ONCE AGAIN and put them in the tub. Sternly telling him NO! while swatting the toy he had already lifted out of the water, out of his hand, before he could once again eject it from his bath. This is where I sat down to watch him play some more with Ayden, inwardly fuming.

Naturally a 12 month old has no idea what anyone is saying and doesn't listen on purpose! Sooooo... knowing FULL WELL that it will annoy me, he picks up three more alphabet letters and throws them at me. This time with some water and more bubbles.

 {Lets pretend it doesn't have that text there.}

I'm about ready to lose my head and he can't stop laughing! I pick up. every. stupid. letter. and bop him on the head with each one. He just looks up at me nonplussed and gathers up not only the letters now, BUT a FiShY tOy!!!! and proceeds to throw it out of the tub laughing like a crazed maniac!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

He MUST have a death wish! Because this was NOT in any realm, funny to me. It was the last straw, I grabbed the shower curtain after I'd put all his toys back in the tub for the umpteenth time, and pulled it shut. I hear giggling, splashing, and some rustling about. I had decided for my sanity and Ethans safety to walk out of the bathroom at this time. I turned around to listen to him play while out in the hallway only to see this little hand poke out from behind the curtain and drop his red fishy on the ground. The hand then disappears and the insane baby giggling commences. He then ripped the curtain back, smiling full of happiness, excitement and eagerness at what my next step in his game would be. I couldn't help but laugh. He was having a crazy great time while I was about to hang him for heinous and despicable crimes. Gosh he's so lucky he's so dang cute!

What a week!

I have been slacking as of late with writing in here. Perhaps that had to do with having family here and the things I would normally write about, they were mostly all present for! For those of you not present. Here is a short run down.

• Dad Kunz flew in last week on Tuesday if I remember right.
• We spent the rest of the week basically with the Kunz familia
• Mom Kunz, Chelsea and Taylor drove in on Thursday.
• Kami and Co. the next day.
• We ate, we played, we cried, we ate some more.
• We attended a loved ones funeral. Hence the reason the family is here.
• Ayden and Ethan were cute.
• We ate some more food.
• Sunday were family photos. The tots did not want to cooperate! We say come here, they go there. We say it again, they cry and squirm and fuss and work our last nerve like they have a death wish. Ayden and I left the photo shoot not in good terms.  Ethan could care less.
• A good friend came in for the weekend to get her hubby. She relaxed, played, watches shows and allowed me to gorge myself at Tucanos on Monday with her and her hubby! 

All in all it was a crazy busy week! We were out of the house more than we were at home. Which I cannot honestly complain about because it was with family and I enjoyed it! BUT it is a pleasure to be able to stay in my home now and deal with my kids' almost constant chaos in my controlled environment! HA... controlled. Like I have any of that.

Relatives, It's all... relative? yes?

Ok- so my Title really doesn't have much to do with what I'm thinking about it. It does have to do with relatives, but you can basically ignore the rest; unless when I'm finished typing this... and you're finished reading, you feel that the title fits, then don't ignore it and thank me for allowing you to bask in my creative genius. :)

I was thinking today about a social expectation. I have a feeling that the pressure of this expectation is greater or smaller based on the family and the individuals involved. I was thinking about that special time after you get married; that special time when you officially have two parents. Your own and your in-laws and you now get to call your in-laws, Mom and Dad.

I've heard storied about girls.... or boys that have gotten married and their Mother-in-law or father-in-law demand right away that you call them Mom or Dad. No 'ifs','ands' or 'buts' about it. I don't think this is very fair, but I'm not here to talk about this type of person, because I have no experience in this department. Ok- actually I do have one thing to say. If I felt forced, I think I'd resent that. But I'll never know. My in-laws haven't given me any inkling of pressure. Aaaand back on track now...

So, now that its been over three years since I sealed the deal; why is it so hard for me to call my in-laws, Mom and Dad?

I thought at first it was because by my standard they had to earn that title and at first they hadn't because I didn't even really know them. They had obviously earned it with their own children, because.... well.... they were their kids' parents, and good ones at that. You can be a parent and a crummy one, which is where I don't think you deserve to be called Mom or Dad.

At first I didn't call my in-laws Mom and Dad because they hadn't quite gathered that title in my mind, but now after three years- heck even after one or two!- they have by far collected that title. I guess I just need to work up the courage and just say it, because its really not that scary of a thing to say. Especially if they deserve it. Especially if they are technically my parents!

Geez Jen get a hold of yourself and just do it! Can I use that phrase?- I'm not stealing it from Nike. I swear!

Does anyone else married have this problem?

Til we meet again

I'm sitting here trying to think of the words to say that describe how I feel. The lyrics to a church hymn keep scrolling across my mind, "God be with you til we meet again." If I try to sing them out loud I begin to cry.

A very special person that I met a little over three years ago passed away. She was.... IS McKays' Aunt Monica. Her spirit has left her body but that doesn't mean she's done being McKays Aunt or my adopted Aunt. Through the grace of Christ we will see her again.

Monica had a disease that made her body her prison. She was bound to a wheelchair and needed assistance with nearly every aspect of her life. Her body was brittle and stiff, her joints did not bend easily and she was in pain. But I cannot remember a single time when she was not smiling, when she was not joking. She was always pleasant. Now I know that perhaps she did have her bad days, but to me, I will always remember her as a happy woman. She was kind, light-hearted, loving and accepting.

This is how I will remember her. Now that she has passed on she can be freed of her mortal, imperfect body and walk. She can hug. She can dance. She can be whole and she will have the blessing of being with her Mother, who passed through this world over three years ago.

"God be with you til we meet again..." 

There is a song that comes to my mind when I think of death. You may have heard it before. It's called Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood. Its on my main page. If you have the time. Please listen to it.

". . .The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers don't cry for me
I'll see you all someday
He looks up and says "I can see God's face."

'This is my temporary Home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
This was just a stop,on the way To where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this was
My temporary home.'"

Reason to Celebrate

I am so proud of my husband! He's been sick for almost a year now and he still tries to go to work, he still tries to help around the house and he is still an affectionate husband, even though most days just standing up makes him want to yarf.

He has done more than his share to keep our little bunch fed, warm and clothed. This year McKay was under review for a bonus! I'm not entirely sure how they determine them. I think its based off the amount you made the previous year, tied in with your performance and maybe how long you've been with the company. He messaged me the day he found out how much and asked me to guess. I was thinking that perhaps it would be in the ballpark of $200-$400, it was closer to the value of a big screen TV.... a big big BIG screen TV!! I am so thrilled and so proud and am pretty sure this is as good as Christmas!

What a wonderful blessing for our family. We'll have to take a bit off the top to celebrate and then the rest goes into savings for the car that we were supposed to buy in December! :)

ok- yeah I wish! More like....

You CANNOT even make that sexy if you tried!

Things never change

McKay and I have been married a little over 3 years and they have been wonderful, terrible, hard, funny, taxing and all together a whole new experience! For the past three years there have been many changes, new family members, new homes and new outlooks on old ideas; BUT there have been some things that have not changed. For instance I still LOVE Brach's candy hearts and can't seem to buy enough during Valentine's Day.

McKay still likes to watch a movie on his laptop when he goes to sleep at night.

Something I'm still getting used to. :) No I am not as grouchy as that woman looks when he's on his computer, mostly because we don't sleep in a bed so small you can't move without bumping your husband!

I still can't cook to save my life...

And last of all. McKay still takes a bite out of our cheese and puts it back in the fridge as in. :)

3 years and we still have our little quarks that make us who we are. Thankfully, the only thing I think when I see a hunk of my cheese missing is sweet thoughts about my husband and this random habit. As gross as it may be. hahaha

Thinking Chair

Ethan takes watching movies very seriously.

We mean business around here. He sat like this for about 5-10 minutes without moving. 

Ethan likes very much to be like his big brother and Ayden always sits in his 'thinking chair', so, when we got Ethan up here all by himself he was so thrilled. He was bouncing all over the place and finally he proudly and seriously took his seat to watch what was going on on the TV.

I love my boys! They surprise me every day with what they learn and know!

I asked my Mom a few days ago to see if she could scrounge through some of my picture books for a specific photo of me as a child. And I'm SO glad she found it! Because I had to relay to you the familiarity the scene my son created when he walked down the stairs with a pen covered belly!

Me- early 90s

and Ayden 2010!

Naturally I was the more overzealous one.... either that or we caught Ayden quicker than my Mom caught me. Whatever the case may be, I think we're both pretty happy with ourselves!

Rock Band

McKay and I are experiencing some financial adjusting what with me going back to school and staying home with our kids. So in order to celebrate, he went and bought with some money he's saved up, Rock Band 2 for our xbox! Most of the games we purchase for the xbox are games like Left 4 Dead 2, Call of Duty 4 Modern Warfare or Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 which are games that I reeeeaaaaalllly don't play. So having a game around that I may actually play when I have time is SO exciting!! Although Rock Band can never measure up to my Super Smash Bros. or Mario Party. Be that as it may, I am not the only one stoked about our new game. The boys are going crazy for this game! And I'm talking about the 1 year old and the 2 1/2 year old. . . they in fact are interested in a completely different aspect of it though.

The packaging!

Ayden thought this was pretty hilarious. 

Ethan on the other hand. . . 

did not.

So we turned it on its side and made it a tunnel.

Much more fun for everyone!

Even Mommy joined in the tunnel fun. No photos of that. Sorry folks.

Many faces

Ethan has many faces. Let me demostrate.

These ones I don't think I've posted before.... and the next ones I have.

Talk about personality! I love boys! They are waay too much fun! I might be okay having all boys for the rest of my life. Ethan never fails to entertain me. He just learned what a camera is around Christmas time and does that cheesy face you see as the first picture! Getting stretch marks and losing my personal time for this was and IS totally worth it! They are the love of my life, aside from my magnificent husband of course. Oh and sorry for the funky spacing. Its because of how the photos are arranged. I figured that most and hopefully all of you following this are intelligent people and can figure it out! :)

Birthday Bash!

Its been a year. I cannot believe its been a year since Ethan was born. It feels like he should still be this little quiet baby that sleeps on our couch and gets knelt on because he looks like a pile of blankets. He shouldn't be walking and pointing to the lights when we ask where they went. He shouldn't be going up and down the stairs or eating what we eat! Has it really been a year? Wow.

Well to celebrate his first year of birth we had a quiet party with just us.... aand grandparents if you count skpe as attending. :) He was sung to lots of times and just stared off into space most likely wondering what we're saying. Ayden was pretty thrilled about hearing the birthday song though. He wanted it to be his birthday too.

Ethans' Great Grandma stopped by in the evening and dropped off a present for him. The entire time she was here, Ayden was sitting at the table staring at the birthday cake, which he'd already actually dug his fingers into for sampling purposes. He kept telling us to sing the birthday song so we could eat the cake.

Ethan is certainly very loved. He had a card and gift from his Great Grandparents, the Esplins. His GGPA Kunz stopped by to drop a gift off and played for a bit with the boys, which they always love! And he was able to see his Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles who wanted to wish him a happy birthday and watch him open the presents they sent to him. Which in reality, even if he received no presents, he was in good company and had the attention of people that care for him, which is what really matters.

Here are some photos of the celebration. They're basically of him dominating his birthday cake and of Ayden helping him. :)

Happy 1 year Ethan.

Prepping for the blowing out of the candles.... which Ayden did for him. We asked him to help is brother and he was more than willing to oblige.

and it begins...

Ayden was all up in this cake and getting a photo with just Ethan in it was next to impossible.

We opened one of Ethan's gifts and there was party hats in it!

Feel free to interpret what he's thinking there.

Favorite photo of the night!

If you haven't been noticing, the cake in each shot has gradually become more destroyed. Both the boys ate or hid the entire cake. It was a disaster. At one point Ethan was trying to lick the platter and Ayden stuffed his arms and elbows into the cake.

Here you can see 'some' of the mess. What you don't see is our table with cake on it. The computer desk with crumbs on it. My kids covered in cake! etc. It was scary filthy!

The cake is gone.... yes those two little boys ate it all! And one suffered from a crazy sugar high!