Happy 22 to me!

 I've been on this planet for 22 years now. Officially 22 years tonight at 11:36... or something close to that. I'm pretty sure that I have it all figured out! Ok not really! Not even remotely close as matter of face. But I thought I would share my 22 things I've learned while on this planet. Everything on here has really happened in my life, not necessarily to me, but I have learned from them!

1. Do not ride a motorcycle without a helmet and long hair. From the back it looks like you have a mullet.

2. When you yell at a toddler, they only yell back. And then they rinse and repeat on the baby.

3.Bugs materialize out of no where! Always check your water glass for surprise creatures.

4. First time Mom's are territorial and long time Mom's just "know it all." Please don't share you infinite wisdom with me unless I ask and new mommies, relax a little!  *I think I still fit in the category of relax woman!*

5. Triaminic is a Godsend when flying with children.

6. Don't suck up to your boss- you just look like a tool to everyone else, plus if you boss is smart enough, they probably know what you're doing.

7.Use vinegar and bleach when you want to stop your washing machine from smelling. Just run the water on hot and pour a load of vinegar in. Then do another load with a ton of bleach. Then 1 more wash and life is good! DON'T run clothes through!

8.Black albinos look cool. Google it! You know you want to.

9. Don't try to cut off my Dad on the road. He WILL get you back.

10. Mini sunflowers look like giant dandelions to a child. Don't plant them where a kid can to them!

11. When taking photos at the Grand Canyon; DON'T stand by the edge. You could  fall off.... no really- you could. I have proof.

12. The energy drink 'Monster' or ANY energy drink with taurine in it has bull spit as an ingredient. And I like Monsters... what is wrong with me?!

13. When you get older you get a lot less recognition for doing good or making cool things. Get used to it.

14. Pretty people scare me.

15. When trying to show off with a soccer ball. Get your aim right or you might nail someone in the back of the head and knock them over.

16.I know you're in that toilet stall. I can see your feet. But that's ok, try to be as quiet as you can. I still know you're there.

17. No one likes to hang out with a downer. So knock it off!

18. When you hit a tree snowboarding, don't be surprised if you can't remember why you're out in the snow.

19.You have to wear pants AND undies when you ride in a jeep. Its not like a car, it doesn't have doors! You can't hide yourself from waist down.

20. Nobody likes a one-upper... for anything. Don't be one!

21.If you don't have breasties- don't wear a maxi dress, it makes you look like a colorful Popsicle stick.
22.Do not shave crop circles in your superstitious neighbors' dog. Bad things happen.

Ya never knew that being around for only 22 years could bring someone such insight!

Happy birthday to me!