The Sweetness of my Life

Some people feel that children are burdens, restraints, more energy than they have the patience for, or a nuisance. Some days.... I do feel those things. But every day I am blessed by my children. They remind me how precious they are and that they are gifts to me. I would be devastated if I did not have my boys in my life.

A few nights ago, around 3 am, I was roused awake by a door creaking. I could here little footsteps near my door. At first I thought A just had to use the restroom. We leave the bathroom light on for him, because he gets scared in the middle of the night when he does have to go potty. But then I hear another door slowly creaking open and I see a sliver of light widen across my wall. Too tired to get up or say anything, I just waited. I could hear shuffling, little grunts and feel the bed moving slightly as he climbed up. Then came a little whisper, "Hi mommy, I.... uh.... doe'nt feel well.... I dunna sleep wif you duys."  (translation: Hi, mommy, I don't feel well. I'm going to sleep with you guys.)

Considering that it was 3 in the morning, I was not as impressed with his invasion of my sleep, but I am sucker for his quiet, pleading voice. I rolled over and whispered back, "Ok, come here." I patted the center of the bed and waited for him to wiggle under the covers. I pulled out one of my second pillows and placed it under his head. As soon as I got myself situated again- now scrunched in the corner of the bed, trying not to fall off- A tucks his body up against mine. He put his arm over my head, his sweet attempt at trying to wrap his arm around me like his Daddy does, and seconds later he was asleep.

When morning came, Daddy was surprised to feel a little rugrat in bed. You know that time of morning when you're half awake and half asleep. That time of unconsciousness where you can control your dreams? That's about the time that Daddy had a foot on his chest, and on his head, and occasionally on his back- kicking him. A was nice enough to just cuddle with me, but Daddy was not as lucky. And lucky for A, Daddy loves him enough to tolerate a little competitive sleeping.

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A couple days ago, I decided I was sick of looking at the inside of my home. So I took A and E outside to play. The air was crisp and clean. There was no breeze and the sun was shining. It was beautiful! I could see all the leaves everywhere changing colors. And then, I saw all the leaves on the ground. One of my fondest memories as a child was playing in leaf piles in Nebraska. So my little boys and I made a pile. After about 10 minutes of collecting the leaves, I lost my little helpers and they ecstatically plopped themselves down in the leaves and asked me to bury them! We played outside together for at least another 1/2 hour. It was so much fun. Even the dog joined in the fun, she lost her chew toy in the pile and was frantically searching for it, while the boys screeched in delight watching her.

These are the little moments that I live for. That I love. That I crave.

I get to have my little son cuddle up against me in bed and feel how much he loves me. How much he wants to be so close to me. I get to be a child again and play with them in the leaves. I get to be reminded of the beauty around me as I am embraced by their enthusiasm for all things new!

I am glad I have my little boys and that I get to experience parenthood.