Miracles

It's been a while since I've written anything on here. I feel like during the Christmas season I should have SO much to say. But I've been so busy that I don't really have much to say, and then I went to church and was so moved by part of our lesson on Sunday.

Naturally, we talked about gifts. Not tangible things, but other more spiritual gifts. One of the gifts we mentioned, was actually something I never considered a spiritual gift, (yeah I know, I'm saying that word waay too much.) it was the gift of miracles. Recognizing them and accepting them in our lives. I began to think of miracles in my life, that at the time, I didn't really consider them miracles, since they weren't grand scale occurrences. Or, at least at the time, they didn't seem so.

When I was a child, just about to turn 8, my head had a run in with a hard floor. As a result of this.... sudden meeting, I had a concussion. My memory is probably much more dramatic than my parents' memory was, because lets face it. Kids are all drama queens- it's not just me! I remember going to school every day feeling fine and coming home very sick. I had no energy to do anything. I would just lie in bed and sleep. I remember my mother waking me up from time to time. Since I am LDS, I had made the decision to get baptized when I turned 8, which just so happened to be very soon. A day or so before my baptism, my mother took all of us kids to the airport to pick grandma up. I was so sick that she had to put me in a stroller and wheel me through the airport. I must have looked so retarded. I was so weak that I could not walk. The night of my baptism came and I could not get out of bed. I had no strength... and then I received a blessing from my father and a few other men. I remember getting up out of bed on my own, getting to the car and making it to my baptism. I did not feel sick at all during this time. I was able to go down into the waters of baptism without any trouble and when I was taken back into the changing room, I once again became very ill. I know my Heavenly Father blessed me that night and kept me strong for as long as I needed to be strong. I will never forget my baptism and how special it was to me.

I'll try to keep these others short. Not long ago, my sister was in a head on collision going about 30-40 mph. I did not witness the aftermath of the accident, but my parents did. They explained to me that the two cars were smashed together like accordions. She came home from the hospital a day after the accident with only a broken nose and severely cut up lip. Which, was still devastating to see, but it could have been so much worse. It was a miracle that she only sustained minor injuries. As well as only a minor injury to the other driver.

This last year, my dad was rushed to the ICU in septic shock. He almost died a few times before they stabilized him. He was put into a coma for I think about a week, he was hooked up to chest tubes, he was given a feeding tube and had multiple surgeries performed on him. It was a miracle that good people were able to take over his practice, while he recovered. It was a miracle that even during the middle of my semester I was able to fly home. It was a miracle that he survived. It was and is a miracle that my dad is not angry or bitter about his current condition.

I have a testimony of the gift of miracles. I have a testimony that our Lord and Savior has an active hand in our lives. We just have to open our eyes and allow ourselves to see it. I have a testimony that there is no event out there that is too small, to be considered a miracle.

Recently, a beloved building to the LDS church and the Provo community burned down.

 This 4 alarm fire destroyed this building and left a community in shock, but even through so much devastation and sadness, there was left something  beautiful.

The image of Christ, spared from the flames.

I know my Savior lives. And I know he loves each and every one of us. He has an active hand in our lives. We just need to open our arms and let him him.

My New and Special Experiences

As many of you may know, I have been taking a CNA class this semester instead of courses at BYU. I am not coming to the end of my class, and frankly, in my opinion, the BEST part of my class! I started clinicals this last Tuesday and I have actually really enjoyed it. I say it like that, because, yes, I wasn't so sure if I would have fun taking care of the elderly. This does not mean I wouldn't enjoy their company, but there are some dirtier things involved with residents that are in care facilities. I mean, they are there because they need help, not because they are completely capable of taking care of themselves.

During my first clinical I worked in the dementia wing. And I cannot say this enough- serving these people has filled my heart with love and happiness. Service does people good. It truly does. To those receiving the service as well as those giving it. I have to say that when people talk about that in church or just in general, that I would kind of smile and nod, because I really didn't believe it. I knew it made me feel good, but I didn't know how much it could make someone feel good.

I'll just share a few experiences on here. Tonight I met a 93 and 104 year old women. And it looks to me like they could truck along for a while more.

I came in contact with a resident with MRSA. I would tell you to google it, but I highly suggest you stay away from any images. It's basically a super bad bug. It's resistant to anything with -icillin at the end of it. penicillin is one we're most familiar with. But I guess modern medicine today uses a lot of drugs with -icillin in it. I know I'm not properly explaining that- sorry all you nurses out there. But basically all you have to know is when you have MRSA, it's nasty. It's highly communicable and you get it by contact. Thank gosh it's not air borne. Which means for me, that I get to wear gloves (which we always do anyway), a mask (even though it's not airborne, I'm not risking it) and then a yellow suit to keep me safe.

I was able to listen to a story by a dementia patient every time I crossed his path. I know all about the Colorado River now and how much fun it is to fish and hunt along those waters. I will have to admit, it makes me very sad to see these residents. The dementia patients are like little children. And I'm not talking about your ornery little 3-4 year olds. They're like your 1 year old. That obviously depends on how far into the disease they are. It was really hard for me to see them like that. Because it's this adult person, that is a shell of the human they used to be. I had a man I helped feed that could only really say 'yes' and 'no'. I was telling him about how Christmas is my favorite all time holiday and his face just lit up. He started to say "yes! yes! yes!" as he pointed to himself. He started to laugh and hug me. It was a special little moment for me, even to just get that man to smile. And I'm sure he'll never remember it. But I know I will.

I have been really scared lately that I wouldn't be a good CNA, but I feel like I might love this job more than I ever hoped I would.

Hit a Deer

There are a couple of things in this life that I can honestly say I never thought I would do or would care to do: sky diving- definitely a NEVER in this life, becoming a pro athlete, getting overweight- yup, that's really on my list of nevers, pregnancy doesn't count, hitting a deer aaand working with the elderly. 

A few days ago, on Saturday, I fulfilled one of my nevers; I hit a deer. Or rather, I was a passenger in a car that hit a deer! At the time it was pretty scary, but looking back, it really wasn't that bad. Daddy M, my sister-in-law and I were driving back from a work Christmas party out of the canyon. On the way back I counted 4 dead deer off the side of the road. I was surprised that there were so many! But, I didn't think we would hit one. It wasn't actually until we got out of the canyon that he ran into our deer. 

Daddy M was driving and all of the sudden on the corner of my side of the car there was a deer. It was dangerously close to the road. When we came closer to it, it tried to run away, by going across our path! Daddy M couldn't swerve out of the way thanks to the ONE car in the other lane that just so happened to be right in our way at just the most inconvenient time! He couldn't swerve the other way because there was a pole there. The only option was to break and hit the deer.... 

All I remember is my sis-in-law, very calmly I might add, say "deer." That's when Daddy M slammed on the breaks, the deer hit our car, there was a nasty thumping noise from impact, the car stopped instantly, I screeched and covered my face- I was NOT about to see deer blood all over my windshield, and we all sat there in shock. The eyes came uncovered and I saw the deer disappear under our car and then it rolled about 30 feet in front of us. I was just waiting for the thing to roll over dead, but it stood up! Looked around, dazed, and zig zagged off the road into the field. It wasn't limping and we didn't see any blood, so we were all hoping that we just stunned it and didn't just contribute to an early death. 

Our car on the other hand..... did have some damage. Not a lot, but we are all wondering if there's a deer walking around somewhere with half our headlight sticking out of its back. 

Dear Daddy MK

Your boys have missed you! Still miss you. And they want to tell you what we've been up to. No pictures though. :( Which is sad, because you know me. I LOVE pictures! Sorry everyone.

Sunday night we cried because you were gone. There were lots of little tears and between the tears were the words, "I want my Daddy back." Of course.... part of that may have also been because we got into trouble. We left you a message so you could call us. But we're pretty little, so we fell asleep.

Monday we saw some family we don't normally see! We ate at Burger Supreme. Mommy had to return our hamburgers, because the paper thin meat was pink in the middle. Thank goodness the only one that ate some of the pink hamburger was me, the littlest one. Although Mommy thinks that my bites were so small that I was only eating the crust, so hopefully no pink meat was eaten.

That night we had hot chocolate. That was our treat after a busy day with cousins! It was hot so we had to blow on our drinks to cool them down. I tried mine first and it was SO hot that I made a silly face. When I saw big brother try to take a drink I was very concerned. Mommy listened to me say brothers name with my heavy baby accent and then with eyebrows raised and eyes the size of saucers, I said " Isss haw! Caaaafuul!" I watched big brother intently as he slowly brought his drink to his lips, "Caaaafuul!! Iss haw! Isss haw!!"(translation- It's hot! Careful!) I was a good helper and made sure my brother didn't get the surprise I did.

Tuesday we stayed home for most of the day, but in the afternoon we went shopping for a gift! We both had fun riding in the bottom of the shopping cart. Big brother scared a lady on accident. She didn't know he was down there and all of the sudden he crawled out! We had a lot of fun riding in the bottom of the cart. Mommy was scared that we'd get our fingers pinched, so she watched us most of the time while we were down there. We also got to see our friends B and M and their little girl. We were of course anxious to get mom out of there so that we could play!

We miss you Daddy, we're keeping ourselves busy while you're gone and we're very excited for the big huge chocolate you said you'd get us. Because of course anyone who's been to the south knows that chocolate is what they're famous for. . .  :)

Holiday Season

Ok Christmas! Bring it on! I have my decorations up. I have my Christmas countdown calendars out. I have most of the presents purchased. And I have the winter clothes out!

Now I'm just ready for the light displays, the Christmas music and the family moments!

I love Christmas. I can't get enough of the spirit of Christmas. I actually could do without the snow some of the time. Just saying. But I mean look at these pictures. Who DOESN'T love this?!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!

Physical Therapy

Today I had my second physical therapy session/meeting thing. I'm not exactly sure what you call it. Anyway, I am SO thrilled to finally get my ankle back to full functionality. I was already told that it will take up to a year for it to fully recover, but we're not going to talk about that part. We're going to talk about the fact that I am making progress on squats.

This is what a squat is supposed to look like. Fantastic right!

ok.... well here is what my squats look like right now.

It's just really not the same thing. Seriously, if I try to push further down than that, my right leg feels excruciatingly awful! But! Here is the thing! It's getting better. I used to only squat that far, but now I can squat about an inch or two lower than that. haha. 

And thanks to this fantastic wrap job, I am able to squat that extra inch, inch and a half. This stuff is supposed to last me at least two days. The way the physical therapist has taped it actually pulls and repositions something on my leg that alleviates the pain a bit! I'm not exactly sure how to explain it, but it works!

Which means! I LOVE my physical therapist.

Memory

 I'm feeling a little nostalgic tonight. A little reminiscent. And quite at peace with my life. I found a few more leaf pictures. I just can't get enough of my little boys playing in the leaves. My son, A especially loves the leaves. The piles I have been able to make in my own backyard are massive. They're so big that they remind me of leaf piles I played in as a child.

 I used to live in Nebraska while my Dad went to school and there were two massive trees out front. And for a 5 year old, they seemed especially huge! I remember running around in these piles with a bunch of other kids while a parent would be raking up the leaves as fast as they could go. My Dad and sometimes my mom, would throw me into the pile. What a fantastic feeling it was to get tossed into a pile of leaves, sink down into it, and watch leaves poof up from the sides of you and then float back down on your head!

I just love leaves. And tonight I feel very content. I think I might cuddle up in my bed and read my book while eating something delicious.

By the way, I passed my CPR training. I am now once again officially CPR certified. I'm not sure when I'll actually receive the card. But I'm glad I can do that now!! I think that's one of the most useful things I've learned in my CNA class so far!

This is what it means to double task!

 Today, E was having some trouble. He really wanted some affection and attention and for whatever reason, Daddy couldn't supply him with this and so I did... while making dinner. It took me a bit to decide what would be the best way to give E what he needed and still continue to feed my family. But I finally came up with the solution!

 Now we're all happy! Or at least most of us. My job just became barely manageable, but at least my little guy is happy and feeling a part of things.

Just look at us! You know you want to be a part of this. You just KNOW you want a 30 lb baby sitting on your shoulders!

Rough Night

That's what E and I had tonight. 

Putting someone to bed. Sounds simple enough, right? Well.... it's really not. As I write, I can hear my 3 year old blatantly disobeying me and sneaking around downstairs in the kitchen. You might be thinking... awwww, that's so cute. If you are.... stop it now! It's not cute. It's aggravating. (But I still love you if you thought that! Ü) Especially when the only real time you have to yourself is after they go to bed. And then, because they're too little, they don't understand that you need your time too. So... they get out of bed and when they hear you coming- unaware that you're fuming mad- they run back to their own bed, giggling. Yes, yes, yes... I know I deserve this. I am sure my parents had many frustrating nights when I couldn't seem to just listen and go to bed so they could sit in quiet and read or watch their show or finally take that shower they've been waiting for all day.

Believe it or not, the giggling and running back to bed, while I think of a new way to get through to them that they need to go to bed when I put them to bed... is not what this post is about. It's about E and what he found.

Desitin, bloody... DESITIN! Oh my gosh, I am sure the look on my face when I walked into the room to make sure he was in bed, must have been priceless. I walked in, saw him climbing back into bed- which was annoying in of itself- but then when he turned around and looked like someone had punched his eye and instead of a black eye; he got a white eye, I did a fancy little double take. And then the flashbacks began. Vaseline. (said whimsically) From another son, not much older than E is now. It is sad to say I did not learn my lesson.

I even had the chance to get it out of the room before the real disaster hit! Only 1/2 hour earlier I saw him playing with the Desitin and instead of vigilantly looking for it, I just put him to bed, assuming it was lost. Little did I know, that HE had it! The little bugger had hidden it somewhere! And now I bring you.

The Desitin Disaster.

Sorry for those of you that didn't get to view the video. The boys' names were in them and I wanted to remove them asap. :)

My night with him after I had him show me where the cream was, it was hidden in his bed, which you can actually see in the video, was eventful. It was full of multiple hair washes. Lots of crying. Lots of fighting with the slippery little boy. Trying to keep the dog out of the tub while I washed his hair. And then of course locating and eliminating any other Desitin effected areas in the room. Which meant the floor and some of his bedframe.

One cool thing about Desitin is that it works as an excellent hair gel! Which is probably what he thought it was to be honest. He likes to watch me use my hair stuff and sometimes I'll put it on him and the boys. Maybe he just thought it was his own personal hair cream. I tried to ask him what his thought process was and why he had to rub the cream all over his head, and the only response I got was some sad little staring eyes at me as I held him tight in his bath towel. This little boy, even when he's in the biggest trouble, can just make my heart melt.

Perfection. It's a myth

I'm not going to lie, sometimes reading other people's blogs just depresses me. And here's why. They're always SO happy and SO perfect! I see pictures of the mother that made her kids' TinkerBell costume,the mother that bakes the most EPIC birthday cake EVER, the mother that makes homemade chocolate suckers and lets her kids paint them, the mother that instead of getting annoyed with her kid traipsing around her feet imagining that they're on a mountain- just plays along, and the mother that for whatever reason is fantastically fashionable and can dress their kid like a runway model. It's depressing. I get it into my head that I can never be like that. Sure I post fun, cute stuff on here and I can some days write a good story to go along with the pictures, but if my kids were running around my ankles pretending to be up on a mountain or on a beach, I'd get annoyed after a while. I can't keep my boys clean enough to stay in one outfit all day and I'm an awful cook, so homemade chocolate treats just doesn't happen. I can barely keep up with myself, let alone everyone else and their perfect blog lives. It makes me really want to fast forward my life to a time when McKay and I are done with school and we have money so I CAN do some things that all these other parents seem to be able to do.

I'm going to learn a good lesson here though. I'm going to learn that life is not perfect. Even these people on these blogs have issues. They fight with their kids, they lose their temper, they feel inadequate as parents, and they probably go to bed after a complete day of wastefulness and nothingness. Life is not perfect. Money does not make life better. Memories do. Scraping together whatever you have out of your rented kitchen to make chocolate/caramel/butterscotch blobs is ok. They don't have to look like perfectly molded chocolate hearts and angels and stars. Blobs are good. I don't need money to have fun with my kids. I can learn that someday can be today. Someday I'll do that with my kids.... well why does it have to be someday? We're going to do to that today and if we utterly fail, we'll at least have that dreadful memory to keep us smiling until we feel brave enough to potentially utterly fail again.

Today we will live, we will fail and we will succeed. But at least we were doing it and not focusing on those friends that have perfect blogs with 'obviously' perfect lives.

I think this picture was taken by my son A while I was asleep downstairs "neglecting" my kids and feeding my desire to sleep. E makes quite a handsome little doctor. 

Head in the Sand

Cute little story for you guys. Yesterday was yard work day and let Mommy stay inside and clean the bedrooms day. Daddy was outside with the boys raking up the leaves. We were finally able to get into our shed- we kind of lost our keys and had to borrow them from the downstairs tenant- and so that meant we could get our yard work supplies out! At one point in the cleaning experience I heard my husband say, "J come outside and bring the camera!" I ran out of the bedroom, looked for the camera, all the while listening to some children giggling outside. Once I grabbed the camera I hurried outside to see E lying, half buried in a pile of leaves, staying as quiet and still as a 20 month old can be. And then I look up to find the other one a little way off with his head in his leaves and his bum in the air!

Daddy's memory of this moment of me coming outside was a little different. He told me the story a little something like this. He gets both the boys nice and hidden and then calls for me to come out. In the excitement E sticks his head up to see what is going on and A just completely jumps out of his pile. I come outside and start going down the stairs. Daddy shouts, "Hurry guys hide!"

E then flattens himself again onto the leaves and sits still, while A runs one direction to hide, changes his mind and runs the other way and then decides to run back into the leaf pile to hide. But since he can't get his entire body hidden, he just desperately buries his head in the pile!

hahahahahahaa!

Oh, and here are pictures of the boys 'hiding' in the leaves. :)

The Sweetness of my Life

Some people feel that children are burdens, restraints, more energy than they have the patience for, or a nuisance. Some days.... I do feel those things. But every day I am blessed by my children. They remind me how precious they are and that they are gifts to me. I would be devastated if I did not have my boys in my life.

A few nights ago, around 3 am, I was roused awake by a door creaking. I could here little footsteps near my door. At first I thought A just had to use the restroom. We leave the bathroom light on for him, because he gets scared in the middle of the night when he does have to go potty. But then I hear another door slowly creaking open and I see a sliver of light widen across my wall. Too tired to get up or say anything, I just waited. I could hear shuffling, little grunts and feel the bed moving slightly as he climbed up. Then came a little whisper, "Hi mommy, I.... uh.... doe'nt feel well.... I dunna sleep wif you duys."  (translation: Hi, mommy, I don't feel well. I'm going to sleep with you guys.)

Considering that it was 3 in the morning, I was not as impressed with his invasion of my sleep, but I am sucker for his quiet, pleading voice. I rolled over and whispered back, "Ok, come here." I patted the center of the bed and waited for him to wiggle under the covers. I pulled out one of my second pillows and placed it under his head. As soon as I got myself situated again- now scrunched in the corner of the bed, trying not to fall off- A tucks his body up against mine. He put his arm over my head, his sweet attempt at trying to wrap his arm around me like his Daddy does, and seconds later he was asleep.

When morning came, Daddy was surprised to feel a little rugrat in bed. You know that time of morning when you're half awake and half asleep. That time of unconsciousness where you can control your dreams? That's about the time that Daddy had a foot on his chest, and on his head, and occasionally on his back- kicking him. A was nice enough to just cuddle with me, but Daddy was not as lucky. And lucky for A, Daddy loves him enough to tolerate a little competitive sleeping.

*   *   *   *   *

A couple days ago, I decided I was sick of looking at the inside of my home. So I took A and E outside to play. The air was crisp and clean. There was no breeze and the sun was shining. It was beautiful! I could see all the leaves everywhere changing colors. And then, I saw all the leaves on the ground. One of my fondest memories as a child was playing in leaf piles in Nebraska. So my little boys and I made a pile. After about 10 minutes of collecting the leaves, I lost my little helpers and they ecstatically plopped themselves down in the leaves and asked me to bury them! We played outside together for at least another 1/2 hour. It was so much fun. Even the dog joined in the fun, she lost her chew toy in the pile and was frantically searching for it, while the boys screeched in delight watching her.

These are the little moments that I live for. That I love. That I crave.

I get to have my little son cuddle up against me in bed and feel how much he loves me. How much he wants to be so close to me. I get to be a child again and play with them in the leaves. I get to be reminded of the beauty around me as I am embraced by their enthusiasm for all things new!

I am glad I have my little boys and that I get to experience parenthood. 

Advice to you parents to be some day:

Do not leave your kids alone for more than 5 minutes. Catastrophe is sure to ensue!

Especially if you leave them with something that can be messy.

Last of October

 Have you ever seen something like this? Ok- before you answer, let me tell you what you're actually looking at. This is a pumpkin seed that's sprouted. The interesting thing is, we found this seed, INSIDE one of our pumpkins!!! So cool! I'm pretty sad that we didn't get a second pumpkin out of this. That would have been amazing. To open up the pumpkin and see another pumpkin inside!!

And of course I just cannot get enough of my little Things! So I have a few more pictures of them. Sorry for those of you sick of seeing them all dressed up.

 They're just too cute! And I know that some of these pictures are fun for grandparents to see since they're own kiddies are in them as well!

 A was too focused on getting candy, which is why no photos of him with girls were taken. :) By the end of our trunk or treating party, we had some very tired boys.

 Oh! And proof that at least one of us parent's dressed up for Halloween.

 Can you guess who I am? Probably not that hard. HERMOINE!!! And lucky for me- I can re-use almost my entire costume for other events.

Halloween was lots of fun this year. I promise this is the last post of Halloween business.

Whew! We can move onto some other events in our lives!!

Carvings Part II

Pumpkin carving is serious business. It's SO serious, in fact, that it deserves a whole second post... and possibly a 3rd, once I actually take a picture of our other "stair-ee!" pumpkin. Fall has to be one of my favorite seasons purely for the fact that we have SO many holidays that follow Halloween! We get Thanksgiving! Christmas! and New Years!! It's great!

The pumpkin you see her is Aunt Ms and As pumpkin.... and yes, he actually did choose that pattern. Although, I'm pretty sure that he didn't know what he was picking out at the time.

The last two photos are my favorites. The one with As dorky smile in it had a conversation that went a little something like this, "Smile normal A".... "No! A not like that! Just smile normal for now." ..."A we can do a silly picture next, cummon!" . . . after a few minutes of frustration from Aunt M and I as we try to make the 3 year old smile like everyone else, I came up to him with my fingers in 'flick' pose to see if the idea of getting him in trouble would make him listen.... it didn't.... it actually produced the next picture. That would be As. "I've just been threatened" face and by the looks of it, he thinks I may have blackmailed him, cut off his teddy's thumb and mailed it to him with a note saying, "you're next if you don't send the money!" Aunt M is just going with the flow and following As lead. :) ....or maybe she's his body guard and that's the "I'm going to shank you if you come closer" look.

We have a lot of looks in this family. It can get confusing to translate sometimes.