What Makes you Feel Loved?

I have been talking to a woman at work who has recently become engaged and she is reading The Five Love Languages for couples. It was interesting listening through her about what the book talked about.

We talked about how different people feel loved through different things. Some people are very physical, some like quality time or cute little gifts from their significant other in order to feel loved. I was curious to see what my 'love language' was and yes, too lazy to buy the book, so I searched online and found the quiz they offer at the end of the book. http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp I thought some of you might actually be interested in taking it as well and put the website above.

For those of you wondering. :) Here is my love language results.

If you can't really see it. It says I'm 33% quality time and 30% acts of service. Those two things are most important to me. The rest... meh, its nice, but not my cup of tea!

So for those of you out there that want to make me feel happy and loved, which is really probably just McKay and my parents and in-laws AND relatives. Basically just family! You've got your golden answer! Spend quality time with me. :) Because yes, I DO like that. I am also a firm believer that you can't just make quality time. You have to be around the people you care about often enough and then quality time happens. Naturally things like baby showers, bridal showers, girls night out, dinner dates are all things that pretty much cover quality time... or at least in my head they do. It should be called quality time baby shower or quality time dinner date.

 

The other huge love language thing for me is 'acts of service', who doesn't like it when someone does something nice for them! Maybe I'll get McKay to read this so he can score some big brownie points. Then perhaps I will feel more inclined to cater to his love language, whatever that may be.

He needs  to take the quiz, even though I think I have a pretty good idea of what his love language is. ;)

Full of Personality

alright, so for the life of me I cannot find where the little button went that allows you to add videos! What the heck is up with that? If anyone knows where I'm supposed to go, I would love to be enlightened. Because my button that USED to be next to the 'add photo' button has vanished.

I have noticed lately that I haven't had much to say about my two cute little boys. So I decided today to upload my photos and realized I have a ton of really cute pictures I haven't shared yet!

I cannot seem to keep my kids off my legs and for some reason, one particular day while I was cornered by then I must have had my camera. Ayden of course was, as always, the good sport about the camera in his face and wanted to show off a new look he's been working on.

Little Ethan on the other hand, just wanted me to hold him and in order to focus on climbing my legs to get closer to me, he has to stick out his little tongue. This is something he does quite often right now. I'll be feeding him baby food and his tongue will be hanging out. Not so easy to get sweet potatoes in his mouth when his little tongue refuses to cooperate.

We recently bought a new computer desk and its big enough under it now that both our children like to play there. Ethan of course, is more interested in me still. I will be sitting in our chair and he'll climb up the thing to try and get to me. I don't know why I'm so popular around here!

On my birthday we had chocolate cake. It was easily the most delicious thing we ate all day. Ayden loved it! He was so happy about eating the chocolate cake that he wanted to share with his little brother. You can see Ethan in the lower half of this photo sitting in his walker. When we weren't looking Ayden tossed, I know how much chocolate, at Ethan and they both went to town. Ethan's face looked about the same as Ayden's does here.


You can also see some beautiful flowers in the background from my parents for my birthday. I love getting flowers. They always brighten a room. And in my case, MY yellow flowers seem to attract children. First I had my little sunflowers ripped up by the neighbor kids and then. . .

Ayden ripped up these lovely ones. He didn't get them all. Just about two. I don't know if you can see the carnage in this photo very well, but there's petals all over our table and then lots more still in the arrangement. He tried to put the flower back together. I saw what was going on and he hurried and stuffed all the petals back into the other flowers.

Last photo. When is the last time you remember just falling asleep in the sun? If you can't remember you're long overdue! If its been over a month, you're also overdue!

Ethan keeps a healthy sleep schedule in the sun and he thinks its a necessity you should also keep up.

That ONE guy

You know how in every office there just has to be that one guy. . .

That one dude that looks at you and won't stop!

Picks his nose in front of everyone.

Scratches himself in places that should NEVER be scratched in public!

Says the really stupid joke that leaves everyone feeling uncomfortable.

That one guy that smells funny, has dandruff and hangs around your cubicle or desk like a vulture.... just waiting!

Yeah- we have our ONE guy.

Do I EVER get the heebie jeebies when he looks at me! No way will I EVER walk down an alley way with him at the end of it.

Goodbye Dusty

I am so sad right now. My parents had to put down our puppy today. I cannot believe he is no longer here. I was perusing my photos to see what pictures I had of him to show off to everyone and I am heartbroken that I do not have more than two photos. If any of you have ever had a dog or a pet of your own that has passed away then you know exactly how I feel.

He really was another member of the family. As you can see he was not a puppy either, that was a nickname that never seemed to leave him even as he grew up. He was a wonderful dog.

He would growl and yip whenever my parents hugged or kissed. He was crazy jealous of my dad. :)
He would get really excited when he was younger and would run around the lawn as fast as he could, chunks of grass flipping up under his paws as he cruised.
He would fly around the house ecstatically barking whenever we pulled the leash out of the garage for a walk.
He would get snacks from my Mother, usually leftover food, and would bury it in the garden. We could all tell because the tip of his nose was brushed brown.
He was scared of raccoons and not very intimidating to cats. But he sure tried to be. :)
He loved my Mother, during the last years of his life, he would follow her around the house. He would lie at her feet under the computer desk. He would nuzzle his head onto her lap. He loved my Mom the most.
He protected me from the crazy neighbor that brought a gun to our house. The man was going to shoot him, but Dusty wouldn't let him get any closer to the house or to me.

He was my perfect puppy. 

Toward the end of his life he began to slowly dwindle. I was not even around him much, but when I came home to visit I was devastated at how much he had changed.

My bright, excited, cute, friendly dog was gone. And in his place was a blind, deaf, diabetic and arthritic dog.

When I say he is gone, when I actually hear myself say it, I cannot control myself. You'd think with everything else going on in my life that I would have run out of tears by now. Nope! They still stream from my eyes as if I have never cried before.

At least he went peacefully. He had my Mother right by his side, his little head resting on her lap. He didn't feel a thing. He just closed his eyes for the last time on this earth.

 I am so sad right now.

My Mother sent me some more pictures. I had to share them.

Proof Dusty loved my Mom most! Yes he was fat- but Oh so happy!

Must have been my Dad's birthday. We always joked about Dusty being born on April Fools Day and my Dad's birthday was in April- so we also joked that they were born on the same day.

And yes- this is a VERY old picture of all of us with Dusty. I'm going to guess that I am about 11, Melissa 9, Nathan 6 and Daniel 4. But that's just a guess. That would leave Dusty at about 3 or 4.

Happy 22 to me!

 I've been on this planet for 22 years now. Officially 22 years tonight at 11:36... or something close to that. I'm pretty sure that I have it all figured out! Ok not really! Not even remotely close as matter of face. But I thought I would share my 22 things I've learned while on this planet. Everything on here has really happened in my life, not necessarily to me, but I have learned from them!

1. Do not ride a motorcycle without a helmet and long hair. From the back it looks like you have a mullet.

2. When you yell at a toddler, they only yell back. And then they rinse and repeat on the baby.

3.Bugs materialize out of no where! Always check your water glass for surprise creatures.

4. First time Mom's are territorial and long time Mom's just "know it all." Please don't share you infinite wisdom with me unless I ask and new mommies, relax a little!  *I think I still fit in the category of relax woman!*

5. Triaminic is a Godsend when flying with children.

6. Don't suck up to your boss- you just look like a tool to everyone else, plus if you boss is smart enough, they probably know what you're doing.

7.Use vinegar and bleach when you want to stop your washing machine from smelling. Just run the water on hot and pour a load of vinegar in. Then do another load with a ton of bleach. Then 1 more wash and life is good! DON'T run clothes through!

8.Black albinos look cool. Google it! You know you want to.

9. Don't try to cut off my Dad on the road. He WILL get you back.

10. Mini sunflowers look like giant dandelions to a child. Don't plant them where a kid can to them!

11. When taking photos at the Grand Canyon; DON'T stand by the edge. You could  fall off.... no really- you could. I have proof.

12. The energy drink 'Monster' or ANY energy drink with taurine in it has bull spit as an ingredient. And I like Monsters... what is wrong with me?!

13. When you get older you get a lot less recognition for doing good or making cool things. Get used to it.

14. Pretty people scare me.

15. When trying to show off with a soccer ball. Get your aim right or you might nail someone in the back of the head and knock them over.

16.I know you're in that toilet stall. I can see your feet. But that's ok, try to be as quiet as you can. I still know you're there.

17. No one likes to hang out with a downer. So knock it off!

18. When you hit a tree snowboarding, don't be surprised if you can't remember why you're out in the snow.

19.You have to wear pants AND undies when you ride in a jeep. Its not like a car, it doesn't have doors! You can't hide yourself from waist down.

20. Nobody likes a one-upper... for anything. Don't be one!

21.If you don't have breasties- don't wear a maxi dress, it makes you look like a colorful Popsicle stick.
22.Do not shave crop circles in your superstitious neighbors' dog. Bad things happen.

Ya never knew that being around for only 22 years could bring someone such insight!

Happy birthday to me!

Flowers, bugs, water and WOMEN

There is usually a mold for everything right? Or at least I thought so. Flowers have a certain way they grow and they always grow that way. They're ReAlLy good at it. They never mess up! Unless the idiot that planted them stops watering them. *NOT their fault!* I'm usually that idiot. Bees do their job flawlessly, humming from nectar filled plant to nectar filled plant. Water trickles down rocks into little streams with the rest of the water. It never tries to go upstream while the rest heads the other direction. Everything seems to have a way it does things. Humans on the other hand? What's our mold? Or more specifically in my case... Mothers- what is that mold supposed to be like?

Her house is clean, the dinner is ready at night and it wasn't made out of a box! She has a garden, she cans the food, her children are little angels. She goes to every football game, soccer game, dance recital... you name it she's there! She's the head of the PTA, the book club and is actively involved in church. She can sew like a genius, she is the best scrapbooker and record keeper. All the while looking like a Goddess.

Some of the women I even talk to are pretty good at doing a lot of those things. They brag about their garden. They brag about how much they were able to can this year. They share their 'infinite' wisdom with all of us less qualified Mothers. They talk about how smart their child is. "Little Timmy is the top of his class and I of course home schooled him for the first few years of elementary school!" and "Suzie could read before her third birthday! She's just so smart... Excuse me, your child is eating the sand again." Oh- uh...right. Boys knock that off, its only going to hurt coming out the other end!

I am NOT the right mold society has created for Mother's. PB&Js are a staple of our diet. My boys sometimes don't get out of their PJ's until the next day. They eat snacks all day. My house is a mess, the dishes stack up on me, I don't shower my kids every days. I would rather order out than make something. I don't look nice and beautiful every day. I look rather scrappy actually. *I bet some of you are just about horrified now! How could you NOT do that every single day!? What kind of a Mother are you??*

I'm that Mother --> Do you see her? The one flattened under the stand. At least when it really comes down to it, I love my children, I do my best, they ARE fed and fairly happy. I do NOT fit the mold. Instead of growing into a beautiful Sunflower, I ended up a dandelion. But heck- kids love dandelions too right!

Purely Irresistible

Look at the sheer joy he has on his face. Its like I have just given him the best thing in the world next to life! Man I'm an awesome Mommy!
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And my awesome child... not the same day as the corn, decided to color on our couch and recliner with BLUE crayon.

Not so easy to get out there huh stud muffin!

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Oh wait- that wasn't you that scrubbed the couch until your arms went numb, that was Mommy! Needless to say, I was horrified when I caught him drawing on the recliner and swiftly sent him to timeout. On the way to timeout I noticed another lovely little surprise. The recliner was his 3rd trip with the blue crayon! He first decorated both of the couch cushions. What's that word Bill Cosby uses when his wife comes down the stairs and sees her children eating chocolate cake for breakfast? And incursion? yeah- that's what happened to me. :) I might have decided right then and there to sell him to the grandparents if he were any less cute.
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So. So. SO cute.

Scraped by on the hair of your chinny chin chin this time Ayden.

A good man I never knew

A man I worked with died today. I am dumbfounded. Sad. Regretful. Upset. Upset with myself for not getting to know him better. I feel like I really missed out on a great friend. He was an older gentleman. He loved to tell stories. I wish I would have listened. He served in the military, what stories I bet he could have told! After the military, he was a police officer until he retired. A good man. Then, because of the highly successful progran called Social Security... he came out of retirement and took a position here at ancestry.com Inc. as a night guard. I do not know how many years he spent here, I do not know about his family; if he left his wife behind or if he has finally gone home to be with her. Whether or not he has children. But I do know that he was a good man- IS still a good man. I know that he loved people, and their smiles. He would take photos for the employees when they first started here and he would always comment on how beautiful peoples' smiles were. If you weren't so please with your picture he was happy to take it until you were satisfied, jabbering the entire time about nothing of consequence. I wish I would have listened.

Its interesting that when someone passes away, no matter how significant or insignificant they are in my life, it always make me take stock of my own, and the people in it. We only get one life and I pray with all my heart that I can live the rest of my future full-hearted and full steam ahead. Whether that means taking a lazy day watching the clouds float by or running myself from dawn to dusk. I want to finish or at least put a dent in my bucket list. There are too many wonderous things on this planet that I do not want to miss out on. I want to LIVE. I want to DO. and I want to be remembered. Good memories.

I knew Jim for maybe six months, saw him close to every night and spoke to him maybe ten times within that time frame. From that amount of interaction I was drawn to his pleasant demeanor. If that is all that people remember me for when I pass away, then that is good enough.

Here's to a good man.

What the. . . ?!

I'm going to try something out. Inspired by my Mother. While I was on vacation in Oregon, which I must add is SO strange to me. I'm going on vacation to my own home where I was raised.... heck a vacation is a vacation! While I was there I was surprised that my mother was so bothered by me saying 

That sentence had become such a common part of my vocabulary that I didn't even stop to think about what it REALLY implies. So here is what I am going to try instead. "What the D?!" or perhaps "What the C!?"

We'll see how that goes. I could just stop saying that all together. I really ought to be more lady-like.

What's your story?

Lately a lot of people around me have been getting engaged, ARE engaged, or just freshly married. Which I think is SO awesome! AnD its gotten me thinking about my own engagement. And whether or not it is story worthy... and I submit that it TOTALLY is!

First of all- here is my handsome groom nearly 3 years ago! Before I get too far into this and pictures start get confusing. McKay and I were civilly married first in 2006 and then were sealed a year later in. . . can you guess, 2007! Man you guys are smart. Ok. So this photo is of our actual marriage. It was a very small ceremony at my grandparents house.

BUT that's not the point of this post. Our engagement story is! So here it is.

I was staying with my grandparents in Idaho for a time. It was close to BYU-I, which was nice! And McKay was here in Utah going to BYU. So on weekends he would come up to see me. And on one particular Sunday he decided to drive up to visit for the day. Its a four hour drive. What a stud driving all the way up there for me! Then staying until 8 or 9 at night and driving all the way back! He normally did that by the way. 

So on this Sunday he arrived around noon. Text me that he was putting gas in the car for the drive back and that he'd meet me at church, which is where I obviously was. I waited....

and waited..

and waited....

FiNaLlY my grandma went to the house to see if he was there. Church was still in session, we had about an hour left. She didn't come back. So grandpa and I walked home and when we arrive I was greeted by a very VERY awesomely dressed McKay! Try to picture the next several photos on McKay. 

He wore a much brighter teal v-neck that was my grandmothers. It came up to just below his belly.

He had a maroon bathrobe on that I believe was my grandpa's.

For pants he wore my grandma's white capris and then my grandpa's white knee high socks. It was the messiest outfit I had ever seen. I have no idea why he was wearing most of my grandmother's clothes... or my grandparents clothes at all for that matter!

   He explained to me that while he was at the gas station that he had an accident. NO not the kind that you do to yourself when you're scared or just can't hold it! Not that kind of accident! He pulled up to one of the stations and got ready to refill his tank. Once he'd selected the grade of gas, he, like all of us, took the lever out of its holder and went to fill his tank. But instead of getting to do this, he got a face full... correction... body FULL of gas. The thing sprayed ALL over the place and very clearly all over him. 

 Hence the reason for the odd smell and the extremely funky clothes. I guess he'd showered about 3 or 4 times before we arrived.  He was there for about 5 hours  before he knelt on one knee, in my grandparents' basement on their 70s brown shag carpet, and proposed to me. Dressed in the most ridiculous outfit and the cutest nervous grin. He took my hand and it was all I could do to not crack a smile at his clothes.  I cannot remember what he said, I'm sure it was beautiful. McKay has such a way with words. Something I am truly envious of. I was just so caught up in the moment that I can only really remember the wonderful feeling I had when he asked me to be with him for all eternity.

 

And of course now we couldn't be happier!

Here is my dress at my sealing.  It was beautiful! And it was even better of course because I had my wonderful little Ayden there with me. I just wanted this photo in here to show you the difference between the two dresses you see in this photo and the previous. This one here fit so wonderfully! 

Also I had to add a picture of our first cake.... just to make all of you feel better, if anything awful happens or did happen at your wedding. You were not alone! I nearly cried when they gave me this atrocious cake.

My colors were off-white and red. Let me repeat. OFF-WHITE... not sunshine yellow! and red. I was mortified when ON my wedding day, this is the cake I was presented with. And just so you don't pity me too much.... if you were feeling bad for me at all. :) Here is the cake I had for my sealing.

Cool dad not included in the package! Or maybe that's hungry Dad. 

And now- I want to hear all of your engagement stories if you feel so desirous to share them! Or what your dream engagement would be like if you're no to that stage of your life yet. If you just want to leave a comment, you can do that too... or not. lol 

Eye doctors... bah! ........and other nonsense.

Ok I don't know how well you can see this in this photo, but I went to get an exam and they dilated my eyes. So my pupils are HUGE. I looked like a cat! PLUS I couldn't go outside all day for fear of the sun. And the bummer is... the guys didn't even give me right strength. He gave me a -2.75... I don't know what that means, but I think my eyes need something stronger than that because I still see just as bad as before I came for his help. So annoying!

On the other hand, both boys are great! Happy as can be. Ayden had an appointment for his foot doctor this last Friday. Everything looks in order. woot woot! He got new shoes for his brace. He will wear it every night until he's about 4 I believe. Poor guy. But at least he doesn't have a deformed foot anymore. Truly a great blessing right there.

 

Ethan is going to be 8 months old this month! Holy cow where has the time gone! I can't believe it. He's already 16+ pounds. Crawling, scooching along the couch and... brace yourself... climbing the stairs! AH! He has to keep up with Ayden though- totally understandable, but now the baby gate goes at the bottom the stairs as WELL as the top depending on where he is.

McKay is also feeling better! Hallelujah! We are seeing improvements, which I always LOVE! As I'm sure he's pretty thrilled about as well. If you're wondering what I'm talking about- McKay has liver disease and he's had it since about the beginning of the year. It got extremely bad this summer and he had to leave work. Now he's slowly improving. Woo Hoo!

Oh and Ayden took that picture of us. He was so proud!

An honor

Today I did my grocery shopping. I got to go by myself *beautiful loong sigh* While I was at the store I saw the most precious thing I have seen in a long time. I'm not joking either, totally serious here.

I saw an old man and woman in their late 80s or 90s. It was beautiful. She was gorgeous. And no I do not mean she looked like she was in her 20s. I mean, under her snow white curly hair, her small and frail frame I could see what a wonderful, hard, exciting life she must have lived.

Her little eyes, circled with wrinkles, just sparkled.  I was entranced.

Her mouth was framed with lines from a life lived full of smiles. Full of giggles with daughters, bugs with little boys; curly pigtails, stray fireworks and ecstatic screeched! 2nd, 3rd and 4th honeymoons.

Surprise Mother's Day breakfast- burnt, but delivered with proud, excited eye. Kisses on scraped knees, dirty hands, dirty mouths and dirty furniture. Pet salamanders, leisure picnics, and footprints in her kitchen. Star gazing, hiking, campfire ghost stories and sticky smores. Proud report cards on her fridge, proud young athletes! 

Her soft fingers were traced with lines from thousands of scrubbed dishes, thousands of wiped away tears and carefully placed band aids. Those fingers held little hands, colored with her babies, waved goodbye for preschool and college. Wiped up fingerprints on her windows and walls. And have been interlaced with her husbands' for decades, and an eternity to come.

Loving, tender husband. At first awkward and scared. Young and seeking her affection, her attention and her love. Tenderly bent on one knee, grasping her hand. A quiet yes and trickling tears. Soft kisses. Gently putting his arm on her back to let everyone know she's his. Roses just because. Dancing. Feeling him hold her close against his skin. And gloriously growing old together.

She was so clearly at that moment the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Walking with the love of her life, who I must add was also the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Sweet, sweet spirit. His back slightly bent, from I can only imagine a hard worked life. But still walking with his beautiful wife through the grocery store. They had been standing by each others' side for almost a lifetime. Gone through the triumphs and the tears together. They radiated a magnificent life. I was so overwhelmed, so taken aback when I saw them. I truly regret not stopping and telling her how beautiful she was, how beautiful they both were. 

What an honor it is to grow old. Truly something to be envious of. And even more so with the love of your life. I pray that my Father in Heaven has granted me the blessing of growing old with the love of my life.

Slight lapse of insanity

Never again bud.... that is the last time you get oatmeal or malt-o-meal for breakfast!! I must have been CrAzY to let you eat that and walk out of the room while you were munching!