Boys Boys Boys. . .

~Sept, 2012
We had some visitors over and of course A and E were bouncing off the walls. Head butting their legs, jumping on their back and freaking out. So I chucked them both in the kitchen and told them, "You are out of control." Angrily A turns to me, hands on his hips and snaps, "No Mom! YOU are out of control!"

~Aug. 2012
A comes up to me and tells me very officially, "Mom, I'm smarter than you. I'm not smarter than Dad, but I am smarter than you."

~July 4th, 2012
A and E were wrestling today and it was A's day. He was doing really good keeping his little brother subdued, although E put up a pretty good fight. Once they were finished, Daddy and I told E he did a really good job! He looked over at Daddy M angrily from the floor and said, "No, I din not!!" he flailed his arms on the ground and continued, "He's still alive!"

~June 2012
E and A were playing T-ball today with A's new gear. I of course laid down the rules. No hitting anyone with the bat. No swinging at the ball until every body and body part is clear. Simple enough. Not 5 minutes into it, I hear a blood curdling scream from A. E runs inside, eyes big, and says, "I din'n know what I was doing!" Big brother had a pretty good goose egg on his head.

Thanks for the Help

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Thursday, July 22, 2010

First Visit of my dad in the ICU

I am the luckiest person alive. I feel like the most blessed woman on earth-- or maybe apart of the most blessed family on earth. I know firsthand of the goodness and greatness of people's hearts. Does heaven exist here on earth? I think in little pieces it absolutely does. It exists in that purest of pure sections in our hearts. When people need care, our eternal spirits yearn to come free and love those that need loving. That little bit of our heart reminds us that great good exists in the world and especially, in all of us. There are spots all around the world where celestial love and calm can abound, and that is the temple. That is where that piece of our heart is able to expand. My family has been blessed with great love. I know I keep saying that, but I do not feel that saying it once, justifies how touched my heart has been.
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Today I flew to Oregon to be with my Dad. I arrived with my son E and nearly straightway drove to Legacy Emanuel Hospital to see my Daddy. I did not expect him to be awake. I was very certain he would still be in a drug induced coma. But as we rounded the corner, all the while my heart is nervously pounding, I see my Dad's eyes open as he looks at us. The nurse says, "He's been asking for you." How she knew that I do not know, since he still has a ventilator down his throat.

I've seen a lot of things in my life.... or at least I like to think I have seen a lot of things. Either from television shows like CSI, personal idiotic experiences, or family or friend idiot experiences. Seeing my Dad in the ICU was devastating to me, but not horrific or disgusting or tramatizing. It just made me very sad. He's my Superman. He never gets hurt. He's a brick wall... an atomic bomb. Nothing gets past him. And tonight I saw what a bacteria like Strep can do to my Superman, my brickwall and atomic bomb.

I came into the room and it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of me. It felt like my thoughts had been stolen from me, leaving my mind a blank. My Dad was lying in a bed with a tube in his nose to feed him. Cuts on his neck from various tubes that had been removed from him. A tube down his throat that was connected to two others. His eyes could not focus long. His hands and feet were swollen. He had two more tubes protruding from just below his lungs that were there to remove excess water build up. His ribs hurt him from the tubes, his throat hurt him from the tubes, and the only thing I could think was, "Get the tubes out! Can't you see they're hurting him! Get them out! Please! Please."

We stayed for a few hours; myself, my mother, and my father-in-law. We talked about what is going on and what thing is doing what for him. We tried to talk to him and I felt so hopeless as he signed to us and I did not know what the sign meant. I wanted so bad to make things easier for him and here I am unable to discern the ASL alphabet and only making it more difficult for him. I am determined to know it before I leave. After a bit, we ran out of conversational things to say, so I started to tell him about home. His eyes closed and he just listened. I told him about the little pug that E likes to play with. They're the same size and the little thing just lays E flat out on his back when he pounces on him. I told him about my Chemistry class that I am in right now and how my last test was a bust, but the teacher will just drop that completely off my grade. We talked about nothing and everything and anything being sure we did not require him to converse with us.

I love my Dad. I am grateful for a little thing like a credit card reward plan that made it possible to fly down to be with my family. I love the Lord. I love his gospel and I know more than ever now, the capacity the human heart has to love and serve.

We are going to make SuperFan shirts for our dad. All the kids will have one with our handprints on them. Kind of cheesy, but hopefully the sincerity of the idea will shine through if the shirts do not turn out so well. 

3 comments:

Shellymig said...

I remember that same feeling of walking into a hospital and seeing my dad after he had open heart surgery. We only see how incredibly strong our dad's are and it is devastating when we first walk in that room. I believe that your family will be stronger and you will grow up so much from being able to return the favor to your parents for all the years they've stood strong for you.

Ken and Nikki said...

im glad hes awake jen, tell him that me and my family are thinking of him and keeping him in our prayers and that we love all you guys.

Amanda said...

I'm so glad to hear that he is doing better. I cannot imagine what your family is going through. My Dad has Multiple Sclerosis, and I vividly remember the first time I saw my Superman fall down. It was the hardest thing that I have ever seen. Your family is in my prayers. Keep us updated!